New twist in pitch saga

It transpires that The Valley pitch was re-seeded twice last summer, but heavy rain washed away the first re-seeding. Anyway, the controversy gives a whole new meaning to the calls for 'Powell Out Now!'

There has been a new twist to the saga after reports circulated that a team of archaeologists from Greenwich University had sought permission to dig the pitch up over the summer. They believe that the pitch may hide the final resting place of one of the last Kentish kings, Ethelred the Unready. Legend has it that Ethelred was watching an early version of football in a game between his Men of Kent and a team from a palace in Surrey. The Surrey team dazzled the Men of Kent with the reflection of the sun from some crystals and won the game. Ethelred was so shocked that he collapsed and died and was buried on the spot.

Others, however, contend that Ethelred would have been buried in accordance with the 'long stay' custom and hence his remains are to be found under the West Stand car park.

Today is April 1st in the old Kentish calendar.