Mascot matters

The naffest mascot yet: guess what it is - answer below

A joker was suggesting on the boards yesterday that the real problem at Charlton was that we had sacked mascots Floyd and Harvey.

The sort of vanilla mascots we have at Charlton are really for young children. The sight of the 'valiant knight' with his pathetic sword, which would not scare any lino, dancing behind the flag bearers at the last match did sum up the state we are in. I should add that I have a lot of respect for the individuals who fill these awkward and hot costumes, having failed in my attempt to become 'Mr Whiskas' for the local cats protection branch.

If you want a red blooded mascot, there is no better example than Cyril the Swan or Cyril the Pyscho as he is sometimes referred to. At Millwall in 2001 he knocked the head off Zampa the Lion, drop kicking it into the stands and telling his rival 'Don't **** with the Swans.

He served a two match suspension for a touchline scuffle with Norwich backroom staff in 1999 and received a £1,000 fine for a solo pitch invasion that year for which the referee showed the red card. He attended the Welsh FA hearing in full costume, all nine foot of it.

The answer to the quiz above is it's not a toilet roll holder or an exhaust pipe, but a LED desk lamp!