How to choose a new manager

One reason I am glad that I did not make the 'Boro game is that every Bloke Behind Me in the ground was shouting out their choice of a new manager. As one person who left a comment yesterday remarked, the BBMs were going for managers whose name started with 'W' (Warnock, Wise etc.) which suggested that they themselves could be called a six letter word beginning with 'W'.

How do these Onanists think we could afford to compensate Chris Powell and hire a really talented new manager? The exact financial situation of the club is a matter of uncertainty and dispute, but one story that has circulated is that five players chose by Sir Chris were ready to sign up in the summer but the money was no longer available.

However, should we seek a new manager, we can call on the advice of 'Chevvy' Singh, the so-called 'global advisor' of Blackburn Rovers.

Chevvy, whose previous career in football was as a commentator on Asian TV, reckons there are three types of manager:

• 1.The wise old head, the senior men [think Alan Curbishley]
• 2.The middle group who have been in management enough and have tasted success and failure.
• 3.The young, vibrant, dynamic, modern-thinking manager who could be the Next Big Thing [Chris Powell?]

Needless to say, Chevvy things that Blackburn's new manager, Henning Berg, is a rare mixture of types two and three.

The Times suggested five alternative categories on Saturday:

• 1.The unwise old head
• 2.The middle-aged ex-pro with an undistinguished playing career behind him who has tasted only failure at management level and consequently has anger management issues.
• 3.The foreign manager who without question ticks the box marked 'foreign manager'
• 4.The over-promoted goalkeeping coach.
• 5.Neil Warnock [who fits the Charlton 'W' category].

Good managers don't grow on trees and we should be grateful for what we have.