America's National Enquirer is about to publish a story claiming that the body form we know as Alan Pardew has been taken over by an alien lizard. The lizard is a lifelong Palace supporter and has a visceral hatred of Charlton.
It has been observed that Pardew spoke good sense when he first came to The Valley, but more recently has been talking gibberish. It was thought this was because he had bought a copy of David O'Leary's Big Book of Football Excuses and was listening to tapes of Let's Speak Ronglish. In fact it may be that the lizard's translator microchip is malfunctioning.
The Enquirer also speculates that the bodies of some players have been taken over by another group of lizards who support Millwall.
Read about the pattern in Pardew's press conferences here:
Pattern
2 comments:
And the board seem to have turned into the three wise monkeys!!!
Wynn
It looks like youve been at the gin but Pards has defintely got to go . The team (if thats the proper description) is spineless, directionless and shot of all confidence.
Ambrose could write a training manual on how to hide on the pitch when there are 20,000 people watching and he's already sold a copy to Bouazza. Then when we get fed up with watching them, we bring on Sam , who tries hard which is nice , but a man whose sense of direction is modelled on one of those old spinning tops where you pull the string and it twists and turns all over the place and then eventually falls over.
Bring back Curbs as quickly as possible because Pards will take us into Div 1 and I've been down there before and I really didn't like it
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