Sheer magic

Former Charlton player 'Magic' Bougherra was undoubtedly the standout Algerian player when they held England to a 0-0 draw in Cape Town last night. The fact that he was a former Addick was even mentioned by the commentator. He played more effectively than he ever did in a Charlton shirt which was the opposite of the case for the England players.

In many ways watching England was just like Charlton: no creativity, zest or ideas in breaking down the dogged but limited defence of a supposedly inferior side.

Apparently, ITV have received thousands of complaints for not showing adverts during last night's game. An England fan, however, made his way into the dressing room and gave it large. South African police said, 'We are looking for a well built man in his late sixties with a pronounced South London accent. He was wearing a Charlton shirt and also had an insignia depicting a horse.'

BTW, if you have a Capello sat nav, please return it to the retailer as defective. All it will do is tell you to take the first exit.

Radio Scilly has reported that the wholesalers on the island are flying their England flag at half mast.