When I referred to Izale McLeod getting fitted up for a kilt, I thought I was making a joke. But nothing is as strange as decision-making in football:
'Csaba Lazslo is convinced that Izale McLeod is the perfect striker for Hearts - because he even has a Scottish name. SunSport revealed yesterday that the Jambos' bid to bring the striker on loan from Charlton had been hit by the big freeze. But Laszlo revealed the 25-year-old WILL report for training at Riccarton on Monday and will then talk terms over a temporary move. McLeod's career has stalled at The Valley and boss Phil Parkinson is willing to allow the player, with just three goals to his name this season, to leave.
But Laszlo is more interested in the fact that the ex-England Under-21 star scored 54 goals in 116 games for MK Dons, which earned him a £1.1million switch to theAddicks. Laszlo said: 'Izale has international experience and in 116 games he has scored 54 goals. I think this tells you everything - he is a goal-scorer [shome mishtake shurely - ed] and we have been lacking that. [And you still will be - ed].
'Plus, he has got a Scottish name! I must see him face to face and see his body language [tell him not to take his shirt off if he does score] and see what he wants. [Money for old rope?] All the small things decide these things.'
'But we know he can play football. [Yes, he can run and he can kick the ball]. I have seen a lot of DVDs of his games. But I would like to meet the player. I think this is important. If you want progress you must concentrate on the future and change the blood to bring competition to training. Everybody knows I'm very interested in this player, he'll be here next week [driven to Scotland by Charlton fans if needs be] and I hope we can have an agreement between the clubs to take him on loan.'
'I've seen him a few times but this is a chance to meet him in person and to get him training and test him. He has accepted this offer and I think this is important. If you can take someone on loan there is no financial risk, and at the end of the season if he is not good enough you can say "thank you very much". But the possibility is also there to offer him a new contract. [Please]. This is a player who cost £1.1m not long ago. [Indeed]. So it is better to sign him on loan!' [A modicum of sense at last].