Introducing Milton Palmer Jnr.

Paul May having long gone to other ventures, it is good to have some help with the blog again. I am pleased to introduce Milton Palmer Jnr., an American addick living in London who will be writing for the blog until the end of the season, getting his hand in with some pointless (in more ways than one) games. Milton introduces himself below:

Hi folks! My family hail from Marion, Ohio which was the home and is the resting place of Warren Gamamiel Harding. He would have been one of our greatest presidents if he had not been let down by his associates. His lady wife was known as the 'Duchess' and I guess she must have been related to your royal family just like our current president George W. Bush.

I went to school at the University of Idaho on Moscow, Idaho which is one of our most highly rated veterinary schools in the U S of A. I then went to grad school at U Dub, known to you as the University of Washington in Seattle.

While I was there I took my girl for a boat trip out on the sound one day. The captain of the boat had a decal in his cabin with a symbol that looked like the sword of your legendary King Arthur and the words 'Charlton Athletic'. I asked him about this and he said that he had lived in London for a while and Charlton were a franchise on the city's south side, but not the roughest part where there was a club called the Mechanics or something like that.

Now I had been brought up playing American football and baseball, but I am also something of a basketball and hockey fan. But I got kinda interested in the soccer game and went to see the Seattle Sounders a few times.

When I got an assignment in London I thought I would check out this Charlton club (for sure I wasn't going to go to Chelsea with its Ruskie owner). I thought the club was kinda cute and I really loved the accents, so I signed up for a season ticket.

Boy, has this season sucked! Wolverhampton really rippled the old onion bag on Saturday and that summed up how it's been. Charlton have had problems in offense, defense and the mid-section.

For my first posting I want to look at our defense. Goal tender Nicky Weaver has a tough call. In hockey the goal is much smaller and the goal tender, who is usually a big guy, can more or less fill it when he has his padding on. Weaver is inclined to rush out of his goal instead of sticking to his line which is clearly marked on the grass. If we put some padding on him he would occupy more of the goal mouth and be less able to do wild rushes down the pitch.

Looking at the quarter backs, Sodje is too short. A guy that size would get laughed off the basketball court. As for the Irish guy, he needs some athletics training as he cannot run very fast.

What we would need on the wings is some pace so that the backs can thunder down the pitch. The Thatcher guy should go back to putting straw on peoples' rooves in your old world villages. I wouldn't bring back the guy with the weird haircut. No siree, the role belongs to the guy who has proudly worn the jersey of the United States of America, a graduate of an even finer school than the University of Iadho: Cory Gibbs.

On the right side I understand that the loan player's family has quite a nice business selling motor and cycle parts so he can go and manage one of their branches. We ought to bring back that African American guy with the name that sounds like a drive by shooting, Motorkill or something.

I am really looking forward going down to the quaint west country on Saturday to see Charlton playing at Plymouth. I want to see the famous bowling pitch of Drake. The Plymouth franchise are called the 'Pilgrims' and this recalls the role Plymouth played in founding that city on the hill, the U S of A.

Have a good one!