Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Royal lifeline for Charlton?

The Addicks may have help from the royal family with their plight after top fan Jonathan Acworth discovered that he has royal blood. He has written to the royal household to claim his prerogatives.

The Charlton crown jewel has been contacting wealthy individuals in the last few days to see if they would be interested in investing in the club. Should Acworth receive the title of Duke of Greenwich or possibly Count of Charlton, this would enhance his credibility.

Alternatively, he might ask Prince Andrew if any of his business associates would like to help out.

It will be recalled that the late Queen Mother was a Gooner, while the Duke of Cambridge supports Aston Villa. His wife may support Reading which is the team for Berkshire and also has an appropriate nickname.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

No I'm Acworth

Dave said...

A royal bloodline would explain quite a lot.

Anonymous said...

Wyn, I think you spelt 'Count' wrong.

Anonymous said...

A right royal count sounds about right.

Anonymous said...

Shurely shome missake ??

jonathan acworth said...

yes its true my dad kept a secret from me so i decided to have a look for myself at what the secret was in our family i had all the family tree tables going back from 1400 spread on the table at home.
I got to 1500s and my mouth dropped open when i saw my family tree had a royal in it joan bullmer acworth who was lady in waiting to queen catherine howard.So anyway i did a bid of asking around people been telling me this weekend i can still claim that royal status even generations have gone as its in the public domain and waiting to be claimed.Catherine howard only lasted as queen for 3 years having been acused of adultry by henry 8th and had her head chopped off at 19 years old.
My contacts said im related to the queen by 3rd cousen to catherine howard jesus so anyway sat i needed a large pint of larger and just sat their dumstruck.Ive writen a letter off to the royals see if my family can claim the acworth royal status.

Wyn Grant said...

As you note, Catherine Howard had her head chopped off, so I would be very careful.

jonathan acworth said...

now would u do the same if u where in my shoes how would u go about claiming whats rightfully yours?

Anonymous said...

JA Are you sure you've spelt your name right? I'd double check first if was you, bless.

jonathan acworth said...

yes i did joan bulmer acworth lady in waiting to howard

Anonymous said...

Not sure if you're a fit and proper person to claim what's rightfully yours, the madness of King George and all. u aving a lard sun.

jonathan acworth said...

i support charlton thats good enough lol

Anonymous said...

Your Tudor English ancestors were eventually replaced by the current German and Greek ancestry so I think your claim for fame died on the chopping block with Katerine.

jonathan acworth said...

yes maybe so but ive been told that i can still in herit the royal status section even generations later so surely its worth ago

Anonymous said...

Allez Acworth. Once you've been emasculated and disembowelled we could send one of your body parts to Roland in protest at recent performances.

Anonymous said...

That's it then, JA's claim to the throne and inheritance is our last desparate hope unless someone else has some dosh!
No no. Don't all rush at once!

jonathan acworth said...

ha ha very funny i be interested to know whos in your family tree history any hidden jems like mine over the weekend?

jonathan acworth said...

anyway dont worry im on the case still spreading the word around the money men up town already sent 6 letters off over the weekend so we can only hope they have done the trick and one of thems a popstar who badly wants a footy club!

Anonymous said...

If you're really interested JA, my parents were tragically orphans who met at the orphanage as children (think yourself lucky). No gems there and that makes me 100% pure mongrel and proud, my dear boy. And as far as I'm concerned the only use that trees have (apart from oxygen) is to wee up em. Thanks for the letters, I hope you remember to check your spelling and keep breathing.

Anonymous said...

I don't feel that we're taking this seriously enough. I think that we need to form an 'Acworth Back To The Palace Party'. I'll leave others to suggest which Palace he should go back to.

Aging Covered Ender said...

Am I alone in thinking that being related to a lady in waiting to Catherine Howard does not actually mean that you are related to Catherine Howard. This would seem to rule out any kind of royal connection by blood and yhat is the important bit. However I have to say Mr Acworth, big respect to your family for having put together records going back five hundred years. Impressive.

Anonymous said...

Jonny's probably sinking another pint of "larger" as the reality of only being related to Catherine Howard's lady in waiting sinks in...!!

Anonymous said...

DOH!

jonathan acworth said...

im connected by royal status aparantly but still a connection

Anonymous said...

JA where did you get this information from?

Anonymous said...

Never mind son you'll always be, un tosser, to me.

jonathan acworth said...

its on google I had to double check this is the story Katherine howards friend was joan Acworth they grew up together as children ,Katheryn then at 15 met henry 8th ,henry said he was taken back by her sheer beauty!lol anyway after Katherine got married my ancestor asked for a position in the royal court which she got ,joan Acworth knew all about Katheine affairs through growing up together.Howard 2 lovers were executed I pusume once henry had found out,Joan fear of being executed at the tower spilled all to lady jane Rockford who with pleasure spilled the beans to henry ,Katherine was arrested and thrown in to the tower with someone called Edward who joan later married and the court read this out

judgement u will be taken to the tower by the kings jailer where u will be put in prisonment until the king sees fit all your goods and valubles be confiscated by the king himself.

sorry re spelling lol

Katherine was put inside the queens house in the tower which mind u I could possibly visit as I have a historic document!she was put on the green gallows and shaking like a leaf Katherine begged the king for forgiveness and said the lords prayer before being executed shes buried at the church next to the tower.Joan lived till she was 90 but still kept her royal title after being given a pardon by henry himself.
She lived a a palace in manningtree Essex so ,ive been told that the title royal lady in waiting is still available obviously I don't want the lady part but wouldn't mind the royal stuff goes with it also in luton museum theirs a big gold coat of arms with our familys crest on that's all the info I know at present

Terry Ryall said...

Seriously, this is riveting stuff JA keep it coming and don't worry about the spelling snobs.

Brian G said...

Well said, Terry. Are you sure, JA, that you are the only surviving descendant? Given that 400+ years have passed, there could be hundreds of Acworths with similar claims, unless you are, as many think, truly unique.

Good luck, JA.

Anonymous said...

Thanks JA for giving us a laugh in these rather dark days.

Anonymous said...

Quality JA

Did old Henry Sire Old Joan....You might have a bigger claim than you thought.

jonathan acworth said...

YES THATS CORRECT NO ONE HAS CLAIMED IT SINCE JOAN DIED AND IS STILL VALID FOR OUR FAMILY

jonathan acworth said...

theirs also my cousen ted acworth and his family (ufo hunters)he can claim as well

Anonymous said...

Is the UFO-hunting family a flight of fancy, JA?

jonathan acworth said...

ha ha lol check on you tube

Anonymous said...

Once er majesty has accepted your claim. What title will you hold?

jonathan acworth said...

sex god lol

Kentish Man said...

He is..........the One